Lesson #7 - Legal Liability and Moral Responsibility

I thought hard about this blog post's title. I haven't actually learned a lesson to share with readers. I just know that there's a relationship between these two different things.

As my father-in-law got engaged this past year, my emotions ran the gamut from shock to relief to concern. Of course I want him to be happy. He has been so very lonely (a fact he denies, but all of us observe) and has found someone he enjoys being with. She seems very happy with him, as well.

Without getting into their personal details, some questions have cropped up for my siblings-in-law and me. Will any of us be responsible for debt if Lou passes away. ("No" is what I hear.) Given their twenty year age gap, will she be eligible for his social security check once he passes away. (I've heard both no and yes. My husband's response is typically "Who cares?") I wasn't really concerned with any of the legal questions that were brought up.

But then one of my sisters-in-law brought up the issue of expectations. Did his fiancee' think that she was getting a family of people who would care for her after he passed away? Oh my. Were we prepared to "be there" emotionally and in support of her if/when she became his widow? For me, what is morally the right thing to do in this situation? Again, I can imagine my husband's response without even asking. "Do? You don't have to do anything."

Time will tell where this goes. It just struck me that there is a huge difference between what family members are legally responsible for and what they are morally responsible for . . . it is hard, I admit, to think about having another person in my "elders" generation to take care of. Especially since she is only nine years older than my husband! The next few decades could be very interesting.

Please share any comments, observations, wisdom that you can!