Lesson #4 - Superman is an Alien

So I'm at the end of my rope . . . and still trying to climb back up. I remember when I was a young working mom, thinking "I am NOT SuperWoman! I can't do it all!" But when you're a capable person who is used to *doing* things, you keep trying. SuperWoman and SuperMan are fictional characters who are *not* from Planet Earth, where the rest of us originated.

It's important (since we don't have super powers) to ask for help. I'm not always good at that. I usually offer to help. But I'm at a point where my own strength is most definitely not enough.

How does a capable, competent person ask for help?

1. Be specific. "I need you to watch Person X for two hours this weekend. Which day and time works best for you?"
2. Spread the wealth. Make a list of people you can ask. Friends, family, neighbors, co-workers . . . having a long list extends the possibilities.
3. Be thankful. "I really appreciate your help. This means a lot to me." People like to hear this and it's most likely truer than they know!
4. Evaluate your needs. Do you need a break or do you need a complete change of situation? Go ahead and list out the pros and cons, the possibilities and dreams. Sometimes the craziest things that come up in brainstorming sessions are actually things that could happen.

I'm sure there are more "how-tos," but I'll leave it at that for now. Right now, I'm asking my husband to help me with possibilities for his dad's future . . . and it's not easy. Back when my siblings and I were caring for our parents, there were times one of us had to call in reinforcements. For my oldest sister, it was her saying, "I can't take every Sunday." (long story - not for here) For me, it was calling one of my adult sons to share a weekend day when my own schedule and nerves were over-taxed.

Do it. Ask for help. And *don't* feel guilty about it! As human beings, we sometimes just need some help. Chances are good, you've helped others in their time of need. You'll pay it forward again someday, but right now - you need to receive.

Lesson #3 - Caregiving is hard!

This has to be short, because I'm on my way out the door. I just want to acknowledge here and now that caregiving is hard. Even if you have a sunny disposition (which I don't), caring for another person is hard. When you're an exhausted young mom, you go beyond yourself to take care of that baby. That's just what you do. For some reason, caring for an elderly parent is similar but different enough that struggle ensues. I'll share more later, but please know that if you are struggling with caregiving, you are normal! Leave me comments if you wish! I will respond, but not necessarily in a prompt fashion.